So Races..

So people been asking me since I did titles to do classes and races. I did classes yesterday so today I decided to do races. I'll separate in Alliance and Horde then by Alpha so I don't appear racist.

First I feel I should mention Female vs Male toons. Obviously if you picked a female toon and your male you are starved for attention and thinking rolling a female toon will get you more attention and somehow make you feel better about your parents not loving you. Sorry to burst your bubble but ya. If you play a male toon and your female you don't want the attention because your female and you want to be judged on your play. This would work if it weren't for the fact that any male toon that refuses to speak over vent I assume is female so I suggest a voice modulator to keep your secret safe.

So enough of that to the goods!

Alliance

Draenei: So i will be honest the first time I saw a group of Draenei I thought blue man group was going for a new look, and was going to inform them it was a bad one. Looking like the child of a Squid and a Goat gives me nightmares about how that would even be possible. So besides being a freak of WoW what are you? To me your that kid who no one ever wanted to play with until you realize he had all the cool toys then you hung around him just for that reason. For those of you who are mentally retarded the cool toy is being a shaman. Add this to the fact that your voice drives me nuts and all I can say is /facepalm

Dwarf: We all know dwarfs are funny, and they got that dance that makes you laugh. Hell isn't this the reason you got an Iron Boot Flask? But when you get past all that your a 4ft fool who looks horrible in everything. Dwarfs make great bank toons because when there fun becomes old your done all the bank crap and can log off how one could put up leveling and looking at one constant is beyond me. Look at it this way dwarf priests are special....o wait not anymore.

Gnome: Where do I begin? First off you lost your city to a bunch of level 30s and have still yet to take it back. Can you be any more fail? You think your cool because you look like an idiot, but really your just that an idiot. Your not cute, no one cares that you slap your ass while you dance. Face it your the punch line of 90% of WoW jokes and the 10% are not funny because they aren't about gnomes.

Human: First all I gotta say what the hell is wrong with you? You are playing a fantasy game and you picked a human. That's like going out for Halloween dressed like yourself. All you have going for you is your jokes, but everyone knows that is what CoT is for. You obviously fail.

Night Elf: It takes a special kind of person to roll a Night Elf. You most likely are some horny teenager you wants to seethe female dance. Or you have some weird obsession with Orlando Bloom which is just as creepy. If this is not the case you roll them because you liked their racials. If this is the case your a dumbass and obviously suck and have no clue. In truth I would think more of you if you rolled a human.

Horde

Blood Elf: So you picked a class that twirls in the air when they jump like a fairy. That in itself is obviously win. Silvermoon is that city that other horde races cheer when its under attack, because maybe just maybe the alliance will take it over. Your that kid that follows me around and no matter how many times I tell you to go away I turn around and your still there! If your not a pally that means you picked to be one... There are some deeper issues there which are best discusses with professionals. If your a ret pally your not reading this because you already found something to complain about don't worry I understand your bubble should be an I Win button. Whenever I dream about WoW Silvermoon is always on fire and I am sitting outside roasting marshmallows. I guess you can take pride that your former leader is the Emo king of WoW maybe rolling a Blood elf was Merely a setback....

Orc: So your big, strong pretty good things. If only you didn't look like something I wipe off my ass then you would be awesome. Your like the horde version of a Dwarf except bigger so your flaws are much more visible. You look good in a Tux... Just be thankful your not a Blood Elf and that Orcs can't be Pallys

Tauren: So you picked the biggest race in the game because you got picked on and think squashing Gnomes is going to make you feel better. I'm sorry but it won't face it your a giant cow. Everything on you is so over sized its almost ridiculous. Maybe this would impress the tauren ladies you would think. It seems though Blizzard removed female taurens and no one noticed go figure.

Troll: People play trolls? No, Honestly? Seriously? So if you did pick a troll get ready for random whispers asking you if you are in fact a troll. These people most of the time will be standing right in front of you and will probably be blood elves. From the moment you roll your toon no matter what class you decide to pick you will be "the troll" You may think it is good to be different, its not. That's just something your parents till you so you feel special about having a mole on your face or having a third nipple. If your a troll we know your "special"

Undead: So your a walking corpse? And this was by choice? First off you need to admit to yourself you have a problem before anyone can help you. This is especially the case when your toon has no Jaw. What kind of wacko are you? You are the kind of people I try to avoid on the street and you are the ones who are running around chasing little girls saying "RUNAWAY LITTLE GIRL". Please do us all a favour lock your doors and don't stop playing WoW and never leave your home. The world will be a better place for us all.

Hope you enjoyed it!

Flappy I got no issues with race re-rolls its like admitting you made a mistake except your not waking up next to her the next morning. The day will always live in your nightmares!

Yesterday people asked me about my class so I'll just tell all those who don't know I play a Tauren