Monday, November 30, 2009
So achievements do they have a purpose? Not really. Ya they can get you rewards and titles, and you all know from previous posts how I feel about them(if not you got some reading to do). Basically achieves basically say how long or how much you put into the game, how lucky you are, or if you are actually a competent player. So I am cool with them and I probably have more than most, but hey I only play one toon and try to get the most out of it.
So of course I will do what people want. Whats that? Make up my own achievements. So here we go.
The Turtle is a Myth: Fish in pools in Northrend over 15,000 times and still not have fished up the turtle mount.
Somebody Call The Whambulance: Make someone cry after insulting them.
You Could Say That Box Was Full: Answer 1000 in game mails.
S Club Fail: Level a Ret Pally to 80.
Instant Drama: Disband a 40 man raid before it gets started.
Bagellord Has Got Nothing On Me: Successfully turn down your graphics settings without asking how.
Elevator Boss Owned my Face: Die on an elevator.
You Look Down to Dive in Water: Enter SSC without getting summoned.
Wow Just Wow "Title reward: the Retard": Jump off the boat as it is going to Stormwind.
My Mom is Proud of Me: Sit in Dalaran on your new mount and think you are awesome for at least 1 hour.
Eat my Pi: Spam Pi in trade on Pi Day
Somebody Loves Me Right?: Get ignored by at least 100 people.
So I am a Dumbass: Shard or vendor a piece of gear you currently use.
Wow That Was Amazing Lag: Die in a fire and try to explain your not an idiot.
Shotgun!: Jump on someones ridable mount within 5 seconds of it spawning.
Apparently I have Nothing Better to do: Run out of the sewers mounted in Dalaran and killed yourself.
Gauss For Life "Title Reward: of the Gauss Nation, Pet Reward: Voodoo Ret Pally Doll": Successfully complete a For The Horde run with Gauss.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
So now comes Worgen. What should there accent be? We have Greeks with Draenei, Scottish wise Dwarves, Jamaican with Trolls, Germans with Broken, and of course Nordic with Tuskarr. Apparently after doing some reading Taurens are modeled after Canadian accents. Maybe I was supposed to play a Tauren. Anyways back on topic. Lets take a look at what we know about Worgens
- Their Architecture seems very Victorian or even eastern European
- They change into Werewolves
- Seem to be Gothic in nature
- Outcasts from normal human society
So that is off the top of my head. So this tends to make me think and lean toward and Old English accent or Romanian. Now of course I have no say in this and it has already been decided. Pretty much like my dances post a while back, but its fun to speculate.
So people have asked me where they can hear all the boss voices without actually doing the bosses. So since this is a post about voices I thought I would throw this in at the end. These are my basically my favourite boss voices the game has had enjoy.
One last thing next Friday's post will be "Yes I Really Heard Someone Say That" I think the title explains it all. You have till next Thursday evening to get your submissions in.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
In Cataclysm, we plan to make the old PvP titles available based on your performance in our upcoming rated Battleground system, similar to the current Arena titles which are based on your performance in the Arenas.
This is complete and utter bullshit. This means people who earned these titles back in the game could have them stripped from them because Blizzard is too lazy to think of new ranks. These titles for a long time showed your longevity in the game and how you worked to get your title. The argument is that no everyone who got these ranks was truly a skilled player, which is true but then not everyone who downs such and such a boss doesn't die every pull and doesn't get his title taken away. They were there regardless and put in the time and effort into earning the title.
I know people without even the top end titles who are proud to wear their "Champion", "Blood Guard" or even "Scout". Regardless of the rank it proved you had "been there done that". The compromise is the people who earned these titles have the ability to keep them and maintain the feat of strength which is currently on their achievement page. Then when the new people get the ranks they will not get the feat of strength as the old people did. The problem with this it down plays the people who achieved the rank in the past. Blizzard keeps catering to people who complain that because they didn't play back then they never got a chance at the ranks. Well simply put tough shit. If you were around at the time you probably wouldn't have gotten it anyway.
Sure maybe I have a different point of view because I grinded my way and earned my High Warlord beside my name. And yes I take pride in walking around with the title as I believe everyone who earned it does. It is a measure of respect among fellow players something which I don't think exists for other titles. Maybe it is the rarity. According to statistics "High Warlord" and "Grand Marshal" are the second rarest title in the game only second to "Scarb Lord". Blizzard stopped people opening the gates on new servers because they didn't want that achievement to be trivial, but letting people complain about these titles is fair game? Just think of new rank names and let us the ones that put our time in keep what we earned through tireless effort.
High Warlord for Life
Friday, November 27, 2009
So we did Malygos and we killed him without too many problems. It was when we were waiting for everyone to get back before we looted his chest thing. This was when someone was running back and of course you know you have to wait for everyone. He gets back in the instance and just falls straight to his death. No mount. He was pretty pissed and we are were laughing at him when he was running back again. When it happened again. No Mount. He was absolutely livid and all of us couldn't stop laughing when he zoned in and it happened again lol. The guy goes crazy screams on vent and saying every curse word there is gets banned from vent and logs off. The best part was the boots he wanted dropped.
During the fire festival this summer I had a ton of fun. Being a priest and being able to Mind Control people is a ton of fun if you have never done it. So what did I do? Well I just hung out by the fire in Thunderbluff and when alliance came across the bridge without them knowing I would mind control them off the bluff to there death. The best part is they never saw me, and they kept coming back over and over again. Never had so much fun before.
Do you remember Hakkar when you could bring the poison to cities after a kill? Well if you don't you everyone in the raid got this poison which was used to kill Hakkar when he absorbed it. But if you killed him and still had the poison you could affect others with it. Let's just say bringing it to Orgrimmar and killing everyone hanging out in the city was priceless. Wish you could still do this because it was so awesome.
I was on a For the Horde run with Gauss when we were coming back to Auberdine from Darnassus when we were on the boat with the entire raid. Of course no getting on the boat unless we are all there. When this alliance shaman joined us on the boat. He started pointing and laughing at people when all of the sudden we all got thunderstormed into the water. I was so pissed but it was funny as hell especially when some people ended up dying from fatigue and some of the low levels died instantly. I wish I could remember the shamans name he was pure win.
Brains.....You have to mention the zombie event pre Wrath. I have never heard people complain so much about getting owned by a zombie raid. Or nothing like finally cornering a guy who had been out running you all. Attack of the zombies!! Even better when you could take alliance ports in Shattrath and then get alliance members in your group for the zombie raids. They need to do something like this again.
So I was doing Eye of the Storm when this pally thought he was awesome having a perfect game zero deaths and owning every ones face. It really started to piss me off so when the game was just about over and I was buy the flag I jumped off the cliff and deathgripped him to me. Making him fall to his death. The best part was he bubbled. Like that was going to save him.
During the AQ40 days I don't know if you know the instance but there is this bug tunnel. The bugs respawn like mad. In those days you used to clear it in pieces and do it quickly. Now you can clear the whole thing, but that's not the point. Well because there was so many bugs sometimes people disconnected. This was the case on this day. We had wiped in tunnel but was waiting for someone to come back online. When he did and ended up bring the entire bug tunnel to the raid at the front. My computer has never lagged so bad as it did that day. Everyone died and we have a memory to haunt our dreams of an army of bugs running at us.
Back when there was no instance level restrictions I desided to dualbox an alt and get easy xp. This was also when everyone in the group split the xp regardless of level. Damn Blizzard for making it harder to level. So myself and a couple friends were going to 4 man stratholme with my level 1 with us so he could level. The guild needed a druid and we thought this was a great plan. That was until he entered the instance and must have aggroed every mob in the place. Great times insane lag and lots of death. Lets just say I never tried that again.
Well I assume you know when ToC came out it was a little bugged. Some how the worms always managed to despawn on us and a bunch of us in the raid still would have our stated debuffs. How did we fixed this? Well we went outside flew as high as we could and all dismounted. It rained bodies and I bet everyone waiting outside the instance was trying to figure out what the heck was going on.
I had this buddy who thought he could win the fishing contest when the goblins hated him. He got his 40 fish got a couple friends to summon him to Booty Bay to turn it in(I was one of the people summoning) when it happened they mobbed him kill him and while he was running back to his corpse someone else won. I almost felt bad for him but I was too busy laughing my ass off.
So there you have it. I know there was many other stories but these seemed to be the most original. If yours didn't get mentioned don't sweet it there will be many other opportunities to get your submission in. Enjoy your weekend.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
What is with everyone taking like a week off for thanksgiving in America, like what the hell. I always though Thanksgiving was a one day thing, since it is called Thanksgiving Day. Maybe you should be like us Canadians and make it on a Monday this would be less confusing on what days to take off. This way you wouldn't mess up my raid days, since everyone seems to take different days off.
Also tomorrow when I log on I am going to have to hear about how you almost got trampled going into the mall or how you got a 3 year old television for 40% off. Not to mention the random 12 year olds I will have to deal with in trade, who normally can't log on because its a school night. At least during Christmas break I have an endless supply of snowballs I can pelt people with to release my frustration. If only they still knocked people down.
So on this day of American Thanksgiving I will give thanks that this crap only goes on once a year. Switching off Canadian rant in a second. GO LEAFS GO. Ok its off.
Today is you last chance to get your submissions in on how or how you have seen people die. There have been some great ones submitted and if you want a chance to get yours heard then send it in. Enjoy your turkey even if I won't
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Head Protector: This will be given to anyone who classifies themselves as a ret pally. This protector will prevent head injuries from excess facerolling across the keyboard.
Door Sign: It will be a sign you can place on your door or your front lawn. It will say "Sorry Leveling to 85"
A Watch: Made by Goblin engineers which is why it doesn't tell time it just does some flashy stuff that serves no purpose and will most likely get you killed.
T-Shirt: Front will say "I Love Twilight" and then on the back "That's Why I Rolled a Worgen"
Tauren Pally Handbook: Titled Divine Bovine: Your Guide to Being a Holy Cow.
List of Excuses: This list will contain over 1000 reasons of why you can't go to work, visit family, bathe, or just why you pissed your pants. All of which are to be used while you are leveling.
A Button: "I Survived Barrens Chat.......Again"
A Campaign Poster: For Garrosh's bid to be Warchief. It will read "Because Brown Orcs are Happy Orcs and Happy Orcs Come From Nagrand"
An Automated Message: When you purchase the game the person who selling it to you will be required to play the following message. "We understand that you wanted an ability that you didn't get, have one work as it was supposed to, or have something just be taken out of the game entirely. I know we said we would do these things, but we changed our minds instead you will get this nifty in game pet which looks like Deathwing"
Keyboard: It will have the following keys as to make WoW easier to play. "DPS", "Heal", "Tank", "PvP" and of course "Contact GM" sadly the last one is bugged and doesn't seem to work.
and of course
A Memory Wipe: So you will forget all the bosses you killed that have came back to life some how. Merely a setback perhaps?
So yes the response for this Friday's post has been nothing short of amazing. I am not if it is because people have liked the previous weeks and want to be a part of it or because there has been some pretty epic deaths which have been witnessed. Keep them coming sure you will all enjoy this weeks. To my American's enjoy your Thanksgiving even if its more than a month late.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
You Fail at Master Loot if
- You forget to put it on
- You don't yell at people for looting the corpse while you are trying to pass out the loot
- You give a ret pally loot
- You let Icehowl die in the middle of the room
- A legendary drops and you don't ninja it
- You give loot to the wrong person and can't think of an excuse for doing it
- You think the 18 million whispers you get when said item drops is because people like you
- You loot something to yourself and then when someone decides they actually wanted it you give them the item and not a shard
- You master loot 5 mans
- You actually give a crap about the people who whisper you after an item goes to someone who isn't them
- You gave an mp5 piece to a warlock
- You are thinking of reasons why to give an mp5 piece to a warlock
- You think that girl whispering you sweet nothings really wants to be your friend. Truth be told it probably isn't even a girl...
- You get lost in the instance while catching up to the group
- You don't have a "summon me" to next boss macro
- You give a damn about who loot goes to in old raid instances.
And there you have it. I want to say the amount of submissions I got for Friday's "That one time...Someone Died" post has been incredible so far. I guess the reader posts are really catching on or people have really just seen people die in some interesting ways. Either way keep them coming. Must kill turkeys...
Monday, November 23, 2009
Turkey Mount: Ok so this Pilgrim stuff has me not thinking clearly, but think of how stupid looking I would be. A co riding a giant turkey in full Pilgrims gear. This screen shot of this will not only be the screen of the year, but the amount of countless nightmares it would cause for children around the world would be epic!
Legendary That is not a Weapon: Ok so this isn't useless, but I have been wanting to mention this for awhile. I know plenty about Warcraft Lore and there is a plethora(I love using this word) of armor, trinkets, necks, and rings which could be added. DO IT.
Hair Dye: My Roleplaying outfits would be so much more awesome if I could use some hair dye. Come on I know you all support me on this.
Boat Mount: Ok so the turkey might have been a little too far. But a row boat? Now that would be sweet. I swear the quest in howling fjord got me on the boat kick. Best of all it would be a passenger mount.
Ridable Flying Mounts: Ok while I am on the mount kick, why don't we have these yet? If you think it is fun killing people on a ground mount imagine the fun of doing it on a flying one. I can see the pile of bodies now...
Newspaper: Make it held in the off-hand or just have it open up in your hands. This way I can actually say I am doing something when I am doing nothing.
Animation for the Cane: So you gave us a diamond tipped cane. Which is great I have it on like 3 bank alts, but what it needs is an animation. My bald creepy looking Undead wants to look pimp walking with his cane to the auction house.
Large Train Set: So I hate the train it drives me insane. I also know that many of you put this beside me all the time to drive me mad(I hate you all). I would be willing to accept this train set if we could some how connect them and have the train run through an entire city. Now this would be something.
Make emotes that are as Awesome as a Skelly /cower : Have you ever seen this? Like this is the definition of win. That is all.
Dunce Cap: I have been waiting for this for 5 years. I have a list of people ready to send them too as well. Some of which no longer play, but I could careless I want the dunce cap.
A headless Kael'thas Pet: So we have all been thinking of ways to bring him back. Just have him randomly say "losing my head was merely a setback". This would be so much funnier and better than that dam monk.
Ping Pong Table: Put it in the inn in Dalaran by the dart bored and let us use it. Then at least while you were standing around Dalaran you could be doing something.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Socket Humping: The act of matching all ones gems to their sockets in order to get the bonuses no matter how useless those bonuses may be.
Weaksauce: That sucks, bummer, horrible etc
L33tsauce: That was awesome. Did you see that?
PvP God: You are the self proclaimed greatest player ever. You tell everyone how to win BGs by constantly yelling at them. If only you realized they never will listen. You brag about your arena ratings even though you got carried by OP combos or glitches, but that doesn't matter because you got "insert title" in "insert season" so you obviously are full of awesome....Sorry but no.
Bagellord: refers to the guy himself the product of fail.
Bottom of the Stairs: Meaning "the bottom of the stairs". So when I say something like "stay at the bottom of the stairs" it means "stay at the bottom of the stairs"
Nuke it Dot it: Kill the dam thing
Gaussafication: When something has been made or Incorporated into Gauss. eg. that For The Horde was pure Gaussafication.
Flying Indian Squid: Draenei
Naga Jacked my Mount: Get off my mount you retard.
Turn off Path of Frost: Refers to me wanting people to turn off path of frost.
Get these Failures out of the Closet: People need a summon. Do it now.
No thanks busy at the moment: I won't run the daily heroic with you, you dam fool. So stop asking.
You're Worse Than a Ret Pally: You fail pretty hardcore.
Even Bagellord could: If a retarded dumbass could do it even you can.
Stay Behind Skull: Stay behind the person with the skull on their head. Don't run past them do not pass go and do not collect $200.
My Mailbox: the mailbox outside north bank near the treats vendor.
Doing Some Ni Hao: Posting my auctions get back to me.
If I missed something feel free to ask and I will add it to the lot. Also I want to announce next weeks reader post. It will be "That one time...Someone Died" so basically I want all the interesting deaths people have had or have seen happen. Send them along you have till Thursday to get them in for Friday's Post. Happy Turkey Killing!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
So there you have it. Maybe I will make a video from it if I could find someone to sing it.
Friday, November 20, 2009
So when it was day of the dead you know how there was that bread you could make? Well I figured I would try to scam some people on the auction house by putting the milk and the flour on the auction house. Now I figured if I got one or two people to buy my milk for 7g a glass or the flour for 1g a bag it would have been enough to make me smile. Well let's just say I got more than that. Someone bought all of it! Yes, all of it. That is also not the best part after he had bought it out he whispered me and asked if I had time to make him more. He invited me to group. I figured this guy was an idiot I should take advantage. So not only did this guy buy more off of me he stood right beside me while I bought it off the vendor in Orgrimmar. it was completely priceless.
I was in ashenvale leveling an alt when I saw in general channel that someone was looking for a particular quest item. I jokingly told him it was up in felwood by timbermaw hold. Never did I expect he would actually go. That was until he whispered me invited me to group and asked me if he was in the right place. He was talking about how many times he died on his way up there and how he was now completely broken. I was laughing so hard. Why did he believe me? While he was talking to me he was getting owned by all the timbermaw in the cave and I saw him die 3 or 4 times. When I decided to go even further and told him I must have been wrong it was in winterspring. He was so polite about me being "wrong" and thanked me for the help and was on his way. I almost felt bad...
So you know how everyone gets those random tells that you are a special WoW player and you won a mount. It then tells you to go to this keylogger website. Well I was in trade one day and this guy was laughing at everyone saying how he was a special player and everyone sucked that they weren't getting a mount and he was. He said he would be riding his spectral tiger while we all weren't lucky enough. I couldn't help but laugh. The best part was though a couple hours later in Org I saw the same toon doing gold farming spam. I felt bad for him, but then who is that idiotic to go to those links.
During the Halloween event one of my guildies was saying how awesome it was that the headless horsemen mount flew and is also a ground mount. A bunch of us convinced him that if you had a pumpkin on your head all ground mounts work the same way. When he jumped off Dalaran and died we all couldn't stop laughing.
So many times in molten core we convinced new people to jump through the "window" behind Golemagg because people believed us that it port them to Rag. Nothing was better than when people would say I guess I missed it since I am dead. When they ended up doing it again it was even better.
Omg put Novicane's pull in. So we were doing Vael in Blackwing Lair when the fight was gone over and the strat we used. It must have taken like 10-15 minutes to explain when we we all clumped by the door and BOOM. Novicane shoots the boss and pulls Vael and kills everyone. Let this be a less in hunters auto shot.
I used to play on a pvp server when I was questing in the barrens and this level 80 alliance was in the barrens and was afk sitting in the middle of the road. When I walk by and see this hordie beating on him doing like very minimal damage. When he starts spamming general looking for more to kill this 80. There ended up being 10 of them beating on this alliance warrior. I thought about helping, but it was pretty funny to watch. It made me think of "the ballad of a noob" video except there was like 10 of them and they weren't level 1. And of course the guy came back and bladestormed them all and killed them like instantly. You would figure this was the end of it when they guy that started it all and formed a raid. Again and again I watched this 80 kill all these low levels trying to swarm him. Ya they were a bunch of idiots.
So after and alliance raid that killed Thrall I was in the throne room when this noob asked me how we get Thrall back. I told him someone has to run RFC in order to get a potion that brings him back to life. I never expected him to believe me until I saw in trade "LFG for RFC to get potion to rez Thrall". Yes he was special.
So I was in a raid with Gauss and we were going to SSC when first off this one guy was asking where every instance was which was bad enough, but i guess its expect if people never did them. But when we got to SSC and Gauss said you had to dive down to get into the instance. He asked something I never thought I would ever hear let alone from a level 80 "How do you dive in water?" Yes he really asked that.
So I play a mage and I read your blog everyday. Now I am not part of a great raiding guild but we do ok. To get on with it we had a mage join the guild expecting to raid and I was asked by the guild leader to go over things with him so he wouldn't be confused in raids. When I talked to him he acted like he knew everything and didn't want to hear it from me. He told me he did like 6k DPS on like every fight in his last guild and how myself and no one else in this guild was going to touch his Damage. I looked at his spec and it was 71 points in frost. It made me smile and laugh.
So that is it for this week. Thank you all for the submissions they were all very entertaining. If yours didn't get in don't worry there is always a chance to get yours up next week. On Sunday again I will post the new topic so be sure to look back for it. Raids will run as normal this weekend and we may do an Ultimate run on Saturday I have yet to decide. Remember if you want in on it get in early as I don't save spots. Maybe this weekends raids won't have as much controversy behind them.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Socket Humping: The act of matching all ones gems to their sockets as to get the socket bonus.
So to all you reading this saying "what is the problem with this?" I wish I could slap you. To all the people saying "don't you have to match sockets" you're an idiot, and I am sure to hear about you in tomorrows "Bagellord Moments" post.
Why is socket humping bad? This is like asking, Why is listening to your GPS bad? Why do you not wear socks with sandals? Why are ret pallys retarded? Why is having enough hit rating for a level 90 boss bad? Is 71 points in frost a bad thing? Now obviously you can answer all of these questions without a problem. Now let me make something clear if you happen to match a socket because your putting in the best suited gem for your class then that's fine. It really means that it is a "bonus". But if you are going out of your way to get that +4 int I just can't /facepalm at you enough.
Think of it this way. You get fries at a fast food place. The guy tells you they are good with ketchup on them. Are you going to put ketchup on them when you obviously came here because you wanted gravy?(This happened to me today why I am throwing it in) Of course not you idiot. So if a red gem is best and it is a blue socket do I dare say put the dam red gem in and screw the dam bonus.
So satisfy your meta then use the best gem available there are very few things that bug me more than this. Speaking of Metas I have actually seen people who have socket humped everything and in doing so didn't satisfy their meta. If their is a bigger idiot than this I really have no clue.
So that is my lesson in gemming. In conclusion socket humping is bad don't do it. You will thank me for looking less like a moron and your DPS, HPS, or TPS will thank me as well.
You have until tonight to get your "Bagellord Moment" submissions into me. As it will be tomorrow's topic. This seemed to be quite a popular topic this week so thank you in advance for all the submissions. This kinda says people know a lot of idiots I don't know to feel sorry for them or just laugh. Anyways, I enjoyed reading and laughing at them.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Doorbell rings and I answer the door.
Religious Guy: Hello sir I am here to talk to you about your faith.
Gauss: I do what I must
Religious Guy: So sir I will ask you first what you believe.
Gauss: We Tauren have always held a great respect for the ways of the Earthmother.
Religious Guy: Tauren? I have never heard of that, I am always interested in new things what is your name?
Gauss: I am Cairne Chief of the Bloodhoof Tauren.
Religious Guy: So Cairne, Can you tell me a little about yourself and your faith.
Gauss: YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!
Religious Guy: No need to be loud, but I really would like to hear about yourself what have you been up to lately perhaps?
Gauss: Don't look so smug! I know what you're thinking, but Tempest Keep was merely a set back. Did you honestly believe I would trust the future to some blind, half-night elf mongrel? Hahahaha... Oh no, no, no, he was merely an instrument, a stepping stone to a much larger plan! It has all led to this...and this time, you will not interfere!
Religious Guy: I am afraid I do not follow you sir, what did I interfere with?
Gauss: The Orc leaders agree with your assessment.
Religious Guy: What assessment? Please explain
Gauss: No king rules forever, only death is eternal!
Religious Guy: I feel we are getting off topic but you bring up a good point. What comes to your mind when you think of hell. Like even if its just words or something simple.
Gauss: BURN YOU MISERABLE WRETCHES!!
Religious Guy: You know we are pretty much the same in that regard. Have you ever thought about trying to explore a different path of faith?
Gauss: We have all lost a great deal in this conflict. But we stand to lose everything if we don't stop fighting and work together.
Religious Guy: I couldn't agree more. All the trouble around the world could be avoid if we just worked as a united front. That gets me to this.
hands me a book
Gauss: This is like all of the other titan artifacts my lads have found. Except older and bigger.
Religious Guy: excuse me?
I drop the book
Gauss: I think I broke it
Religious Guy: No, it's fine don't worry about it. But I get the feeling you are just joking around with me and not taking this seriously.
Gauss: I am not some Simple Jester!
Religious Guy: I am trying to have a serious conversation with you then. I would ask that you listen what I have to say.
I look at him straight in the eyes put my hands on the side of his head and say
Gauss: See your world through my eyes. A universe so vast as to be immeasurable - incomprehensible even to your greatest minds. I have seen worlds bathed in the Makers' flames. Their denizens fading without so much as a whimper. Entire planetary systems born and raised in the time that it takes your mortal hearts to beat once. Yet all throughout, my own heart, devoid of emotion... of empathy. I... have... felt... NOTHING!
Religious Guy: Wow...your nuts
Gauss: There is no escape... not in this life... not in the next...
Religious Guy: I must go
Gauss: It has been entertaining..
he bolts it out of the house
Gauss: RUNAWAY LITTLE GIRL, RUN AWAY!!
So there you have it. I tried to use ones that people knew so they could see I wasn't cheating. Anyways hope all the people waiting for it got what was expected. If they didn't at least I will get emails stop asking to do it. Tomorrow is the last day to get your emails in for "Bagellord Moments" so get them in if you want to be part of Friday's post.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
You fail At Applying to a Guild If...
- You spell your toons name wrong
- You're a server transfer and don't say what server you are from
- You say your main reason for joining is to get uber gears
- When asked if you will help farm materials for the guild you say "hell no I got better things to do"
- Your explanation for leaving your last guild was basically you were a drama lama
- You ask what is meant by "required addons" by saying "what's an addon?"
- You say your computer sucks and disconnect all the time, but while you are online you kick ass
- You're a Ret Pally
- You ask if not being on vent is a problem
- You don't have gems and chants in/on your gear
- You think 71 points in frost is a good spec
- You fill out a healer application as a tank
- You actually didn't know you were filling out a healer application
- Your raid experience is 10 man Naxx
- Your reason for leaving your last guild was because you ninja'd the guild bank and needed to transfer servers
- You say you cannot make 80% of the raid times
- When asked to explain your raiding experience you say "my pants"
- You say helm and shoulder enchants are for people that obviously need help
- Your name is Bagellord
Monday, November 16, 2009
So the group gets full and as always when I tell people to head to Zoram they still don't even if they had 10 minutes to do so. This is why I bring a warlock to summon the slackers here and help out getting people together after each city. It makes the run go smooth and I wouldn't do a run without one. So upon people landing in Zoram I asked the warlocks their was 2 of them to drop a portal. One warlock refused to summon people and when I called him a useless twit he disconnected before he could see that I was kicking him. Then we had another warlock who decided to go afk at Zoram for god knows what and didn't even both dropping a portal. Idiots I tell you. So now no warlock is available to summon. As I said above the raid cannot be done without a warlock. At this point people are STILL sitting in Dalaran or even Orgrimmar waiting for a summon. What a bunch of useless retards. Someone in raid then announces they have a warlock friend. I obviously knew he didn't have friends but he had a warlock, which was enough not to make me flip out.
I invited him to the raid and told him his job and what was expected of him. I did this in raid chat to make sure you wasn't a dumbass. He started to fly. Of course at this point some people STILL hadn't started making their way. Morons I tell you. They make Bagellord look like a great example of a WoW player. So to say the least I was beyond pissed off at this point. The warlock arrives and I tell him to drop a portal. When the idiot can't because he has no shards! Are you kidding me? Like honestly? Let's just say it was the last straw. People expecting summons, idiots refusing to listen, going afk, and finally a warlock who told he was invited for the one person of getting summons throughout the run has no shards...
With that I pressed my magic button which basically just does /radisband and then I hearthed. Ya that was an asshole thing to do. But I do these runs to help people and to get their achievements. I gain nothing from them. They work because people listen and follow directions. So I wasn't feeling well was pissed off and wasn't about to waste my time with a bunch of people who don't realize I was doing them a favour.
I logged off but was still on vent an was being told that a bunch of people were pissed off about it all. The best part I heard was that people fired back at the complainers, because they knew I wouldn't do it without a reason. Maybe they should be pissed of at themselves or the people who couldn't do simple tasks.
If you got issues with the way things work on my runs do your own. Otherwise you have no right to complain that I am doing you a favour.
Reminder to send in your stories of people who have had those "Bagellord Moments". They need to be in Thursday night so I can have them ready for Friday's post.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
This leads me to yesterday. We had this brilliant mage who would use blizzard on EVERYTHING. Not just on packs and not just after I told him to stop. He did it on bosses on single targets. I was starting to think all his keys were bound to blizzard. At least we didn't wipe to his retardedness. But if I thought this guy was bad later on we got this shaman healer. If you could even call him that. This guy was everything blizzard has created. Full badge gear, holiday, and all that stuff. Anything that he couldn't get yet was green. Hit gear is great for healers didn't you know? When I asked him to put Earth Shield on me and he asked what it was I knew he was special. Even better he didn't know how to chain heal or let alone heal anyone other than myself. And he didn't even do that well at all. If it wasn't for me completely out gearing the instance to the nines he would have let me die several times. But then he was too busy getting killed from retarded things. So thank you blizzard for giving us this type of player. He thinks he is good because he has some gear that was handed to him on a silver platter, but think guy made Bagellord look like a genius by all accounts. Won't it be great when 3.3 comes out and there will be even more of these guys around...
Regardless Murloc came and healed better in pvp gear and pvp resto with 1 broken arm and no keyboard and mouse then this guy could have ever healed. I guess I got some laughs the shards and crystals I wanted and of course badges I will try to find a use for.
In honor of the failing in the heroics and my goal to make Bagellord Immortal next Friday's readers post will be just that 'Bagellord Moments". So tell me your stories of people who were complete idiots, did things you could believe, or asked the most retarded questions you ever heard. Won't this be fun? Like always you will have till Thursday night to get them into me and depending on length of the most I will put up to 10 of them in the post.
Lastly Cranius has a new Video check it out
Saturday, November 14, 2009
ag_unitframes: Some people use xpearl and those people have yet to discover really how awesome ag is. I started using ag when it came out that there were a lot of problems with it in the beginning, but I stuck with it and now it is has evolved into the best frames addon around.
Prat: Prat is a chat addon which has loads of customizations. Two of my favourite are being able to create alias so you will never forget who is who when they are on an alt. It will also change the colour of their name. For instance if "Bob" is a priest and is on his druid it will say "Bob" in orange instead of white. In addition for a guy that gets a lot of useless tells it lets you separate your chat windows. So if I get a whisper from someone not in guild or on my friends list it appears in a completely different window and is easily ignored if I so choose. These are just a couple of the great things it has.
Bartender4: Great way to organize, shirk, shape, and move around your bars so they look and are just where you want them. Best around or I wouldn't use it.
Cooldown Count: Think the same explains it all. It makes sure you never miss one.
Bagon: Once you make all your bags into one bag you can never live without it.
SCT: Even if blizzard put there own scrolling text in. These are the guys that started it all and it is still the best there is.
FuBar: Some people use titan pannel and those people fail. FuBar offers much more customization and uses less overall memory.
Auctioneer: Best auction tool around if you ever plan on using the auction house extensively you must get this.
Sexy Map: Who doesn't want their map to look sexy?
ElkBuffBars: Offers the ability to blacklist buffs, gains, and all those things that don't need to clog up your screen. CT_Buffs does the same except this is more compatible with other addons.
MegaMacro: I like to have a lot of macros this lets me organize them and such.
Strong Arms: This is a Arms Warrior addon. Basically works like class timers but made especially for Arms Warriors.
Tankpoints: Helps you evaluate tank gear.
Rating Buster: Makes comparing gear much easier. Works in raid buffs so you get exact values rather than just what your current prospects are.
Deadly Boss Mods: There are more out there, but this one is still the popular choice. Always make sure it is updated.
Omen: Threat meter that everyone should have.
Grid: Best raid frame there is for healing, for DPS, for ANYTHING. It lets you see who has debuffs who is close to you, who is dead. It basically tells you almost everything that is going on in the raid.
oRA2: This puts up DPS and Tank targets and lets you see all cooldowns for everyone in the raid. For raid leading this lets me see who can Battle Rez, who can pop, who can use a soulstone or any other cooldown for any raid member. The only problem is to view these cooldowns everyone in the raid must have the addon installed. This is why it is a required addon in Three Score.
I don't use Quest Helper since I actually enjoy not being mindless. I don't use Recount in raids because we run world of logs and recount is a waste of resources. I also don't have my SCT turned on in raids the flying around of numbers can be very distracting. Hope this was helpful. Here is a screen of it
Friday, November 13, 2009
This one time during a raid we were just clearing trash in MC. When one of the guys in the raid was complaining that his mom was giving him a hard time. When all of the sudden he left his mic open... We heard the argument about how he was flunking out of school and how everything was going downhill and basically how anything and everything was going wrong for him. He was arguing and telling her just to shut up and let him do what he wants to do. This kid was like 16 and I couldn't believe he was actually talking to his mother this way. He started screaming at her and could even hear her start to cry from the way he was speaking to her. When all of the sudden he comes back and says "sorry back had to take an afk i needed to take out the garbage" Everyone laughed and he had no clue why.
We used to have this husband and wife in our guild and they always used to argue over vent. We always found this weird since they lived in the same house, but hey it was like reality TV. This was really funny one day when they got into it because he came home late when he was supposed to make dinner or something. I can't remember exactly. But while the argument started out like a normal one it then got to the point where she was saying she was going to tell everyone in the guild he couldn't get it up. Mind you they both knew they were arguing over vent. He then called her a whore, when surprisingly she agreed and told everyone she was cheating on him with a friend of his. He ended up leaving the guild the next day...
When I was out of work I played wow a lot. So much so that I probably spent all my time practically online since it was kinda cheaper then doing other things. Anyways I was always connected to vent and liked to chat with my guildmates whenever they were on. When I was chatting with one of them and he said he was heading to class or something. He ended up not disconnecting from vent. He was one of those people who didn't use push to talk so I heard him take off his earphones and unplug them. I assumed he was turning off his computer, but vent was still open. I heard him walking around when all of the sudden I heard the TV go on. Let's just say he wasn't going to class he started watching porn. I could have left the channel but I nothing this was so funny I decided to record it. He wasn't too happy with me when it ended up on our guild website.
My funny story was when I was in a raid with Gauss. We were doing BWL and I don't think I was able to breath you were making me laugh so hard. You would ask everyone to roll for the gear and if a pally you won you would make fun of him somehow tell him he failed his mother didn't love him and that's why the piece had to go to someone else. It happened to this guy like 3 times and he was getting so mad. Gauss ignored him on vent and was talking about him like he wasn't even there and not responding to anything he was saying. The guy ended up leaving the raid and all Gauss said was "What did I do?" all I can say was I don't think no one couldn't laugh when he said that.
I am pretty sure this one is pretty original. I always join vent before I log on to the game so sometimes I have no idea if people on vent are afk. I saw the guys mic was and a bunch of people were in the channel. So I joined said hello and everyone told me to shut up. I did and all I could hear was awful singing and a shower. Apparently he had left his mic on and we could hear him. The best part was there was like 10 people in the channel just listening and laughing at this guy. I'll never forget it it was pretty awesome.
Gauss how can you have a post like this without mentioning Solvig? His broken English was awesome. Remember the time he said "Be right back have to sleep with little girl". You should really put that one up it will be good for a laugh.
I will never forget the time someone said they were going afk to eat dinner. When all of us in vent quickly realized it wasn't dinner he was going to get. Let's just say I think his girlfriend got home and they were happy to see one another. It was pretty funny and awesome hearing them when someone had to tell the GM and he kicked the guy from vent. We never let him live it down and never forgave the GM for kicking him from vent.
So I used to be in this guild with a lot of drinkers. We used to drink during raids taking shots and such. When one day we had a new guy in the guild join us. He really couldn't hold his liquor that well. We heard him constantly throwing up and everything that comes with being totally plastered when he come back to his computer and we heard him collapse. We really heard him smash his face onto the keyboard and could hear his computer beeping from the keys being held down.
This guy in my guild always used to complain about his wife and how she wouldn't let him play and would always give him a hard time. He acted all tough about it all the time. When one day we heard her talking to him telling him she was going to leave if he didn't stop playing that stupid game. He told us he would be right back and happened to leave his mic open. He started begging her telling him he was going to change. So this tough guy act was nothing since we were all picturing him on his knees begging with his wife at the door with a suitcase. He was giving her this list of things he was going to do and sadly she forgave him. So much for hearing a marriage break up over vent. That really would have been something to talk about. The best part was when he realized his mic was open. He started flipping out how no one was going to look at him the same way anymore and his rep was ruined. The guy that always acted so tough became the definition of emo instantly.
How could I do vent stories without including probably the most popular vent recording of all time. No matter how many times I hear this it still makes me laugh
So those are the 10 I picked. There were plenty to choose from and once again sorry if I didn't mention yours. It doesn't mean that I didn't read it I just can't have and epic wall of text. I am thinking of a topic for next Friday as we speak and will have it out to you all by Sunday. Thanks for the laughs all till tomorrow!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
So many if not all of you probably remember Kevin. The boy whose mother emailed me and asked me to send something to her son. I know I didn't update you all on this, but he doing better. Still in the hospital but he is much more upbeat. I get 1-2 emails from him a week and I always respond to him to find out how things are going and if he is improving. This post isn't going to be about Kevin, but I think he is part of the reason I am posting it. This is going to be more about how I think WoW has amazed me.
I always think about when WoW ends what will people think about. What will they reflect back on? Myself I know I have met many people from all over the world with a wide variety of personalities and ages. Some if not all I never would have spoken a word to if I saw them in real life. People with all these ranges in personalities which can mix and can't. People who have built relationships through nothing and people who have developed hate for someone they have never really met is quite amazing to me.
This makes me think about these moments that happen and how they change things. Now I know this is a game, but to think it doesn't effect you in your non-WoW existence is crap. You choose to play WoW as your leisure activity. You chose to get on and talk with people on there and have some fun. You could have chosen to go to a mall, a bar, a park, an event, or anything else for that matter. People need to realize that some how some way WoW became part of their life because of the people.
This leads me into those people. Everyone has those stories of when they first met so and so. They are personable they are memories. Maybe they joined your guild and you got to talking. You became good friends maybe even outside the game as well. Or maybe never face to face but you still consider them a friend when you think about it. Maybe someone pisses you off so much you become intent on making that person life a living hell. Maybe somehow you become this guy everyone knows out of thin air. Maybe you have a chance meeting with someone and start talking for reasons unknown to the two of you. You fall in love and you are crazy about them. Maybe you do one thing and are remembered for being that idiot. Or maybe the people you meet are just random people on a video game.
I have seen or been a part of all these experiences along with countless others. Maybe people who are not part of it don't understand, how could they? I sincerely doubt I would understand. I am often asked what possible reason would people play WoW for? People start playing for the obvious reason. They want to have a good time, it's a game isn't it? If the game itself wasn't fun they wouldn't play it. But really I think the social aspect is what keeps people playing it. Everything becomes its own little whose who.
Sure I am babbling and I know this. My thoughts are simple really though when you think about it. You may dislike me, you may like me, you may hate me, and you may even love me. I accept the choice you make to me as everyone should accept the choice I make towards them. Either way this is what makes this game what it is. Kevin helped me realize this.
So today my suggestion is answer those random tells whatever they could be. Maybe it is some random idiot asking for gold, some fool who expects you to tank, a future guild mate, someone who will back stab you in the near future, a friend, or the love of your life. Who knows really? In the words of Cairne "Fate smiles upon you".
So Prophet Gauss is finished, next time I will predict the end of days!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Little Tex: This is used when you are horrible at tanking It is a reference to a tank that used to be in my guild Bigtex. Let's just say he was awful.
Little Monkey: Instead of being completely obvious and calling them a lemming this provides them the job of trying to figure out how they are a little monkey. Confusing people is always fun. This saying was originally started by Zogzog so I can't take the credit entirely.
Lee: I used this rank to poke fun at people who lagged in a raid, disconnected, or anything which related to that. It refers to the legendary Onyxia wipe recording where he yells at the lagging idiot "Go away from the head Lee"
Can Dive In Water: This is kinda an inside joke. Had to be there i guess. Basically the short story was during one of my Saturday night older raids we were going to SSC and someone couldn't figure out how to dive in water. So when you prove that you are not retarded you are crowned with this rank.
Worthless: There is not many things funnier than promoting someone to "Worthless"
Tool of the Day: I use this rank when someone decides t ask something stupid or just generally is just being clueless for that particular moment. Like the time Jakezombie fell through the whole in the pipe in Naxx. He enough gave us a saying that day "Jakin' it"
Ping Pong Champ: Come on who wouldn't want to be a ping pong champ? This is epic beyond all proportions and shouldn't need an explanation.
Tickle Me Emo: Perfect rank for those who love to be a drama lama.
Village Idiot: I am not sure this rank needs an explaining gets right to the point and is very versatile.
Bitch of (insert name): This can be used as a tool to poke fun or insult two people at once. How is this not a good thing?
Special: See this rank is great because they believe by special you mean irreplaceable and all around awesome. When in fact mean special kind of stupid. Full of win while they are failing to figure this out.
Bagellord's Assistant: I just realized its been days since I made fun of Bagellord so I came up with this. This will create laughter since that always follows anytime you mention Bagellord's name. It's like saying ROFLMAO just makes people laugh. Adding assistant is like pouring salt on the wound or kicking them while they are down, which of course makes this pure gold.
Ret Pally: This might go a little too far you don't want to make them feel useless and completely awful about themselves that they end up typing /gquit. Or maybe you do? If this is the case then go right ahead.
That's all I could remember off hand so if you are a former guildie and I missed one please feel free to share it. In addition if you have good ones from your own guild post them here. Just a reminder tomorrow night is your last chance to get your vent experiences in so I can get things up for Friday. Till tomorrow all!