I came up with this idea yesterday making fun of someone for doing something completely idiotic amazingly this made me think about Bagellord, go figure. So from me to you the story of Bagellord.
He was born into what many call a normal American home, clueless to his surroundings and his parents were cousins. He was babysat by the television, where teletubbies became his brothers and sisters. he liked the red one because it was the same colour as his cup his mother would fill once a day, and of course it also matched his leash she kept him on so he couldn't leave the room.
He grew up and went to school and learned pretty much nothing useful after all this was America. Wait I take that back he learned that Saddam Hussein was evil, Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, that they would go to war and it was not about oil, and most importantly it would be over in a couple weeks. He achieved high marks in all subjects mostly because his teachers were illiterate or because his stupid as was using words with more than 6 letters, and we all know this impresses people.
It was after one of these days of viewing his report card he and his "friends". I say "friends" because he was a fat kid, and we all know people only hang around the fat kid so you can convince him to eat things. These "friends" thought he was free entertainment as would a lot of you, have you ever watched an eating competition? She now you get my point. Where was I now? Oh ya, today was special because all of his "friends" had chipped in and bought as many Bagels as they could. They all wanted to see him eat as many as fast as he could. They all had the stop watches ready. Of course he agreed because these were his only "friends" and it was better than going home to watch "Young and the Restless" with his mother and father.
He accepted the challenge and was flying through them all like you would expect any overgrown oaf to do. When all of the sudden he began to choke. He was sent to the emergency room where they revived him. With all kinds of people standing around him he could only say one thing "I AM THE BAGEL LORD" The doctor looked at him then said to his mother, who was also his cousin "Are we on for tonight?...and ya his brain was without oxygen for some time as you can see from his outburst his mental capacity has dropped significantly" Upon hearing this he replied "You calling me stupid?" his mother looked at him smiled and said "No, son you were always stupid, now your going to be retarded."
The Years past and somehow he survived. When one day his mother gave him a copy of World of Warcraft. "You can be anyone your retarded ass wants to be son". He smiled and nodded and had it installed and loaded on his computer. When he discovered he had to make a choice on his race. He picked a bloodelf because he liked how they jumped and spun around like a fairy. He then had to choose which class to which he narrowed it down to a Ret pally or a DK. He thought it was awesome that ret pallys could bubble and roll their faces on the keyboard and still be good, but then a DK was a hero class and started at level 55. If he was level 55 people would think he was awesome! Now he only needed a name, a name that would strike fear into anyone who encountered his fairy spinning moronic ass. Ah yes Bagellord it would it would strike fear into everyone!
After some leveling and complaints that he was absolutely clueless especially with the way he spec'd he saw Gauss asking for more for a "For The Horde" run. He had heard of Gauss and hoped he could finally teach him to live up to his awesomeness. Bagellord got his invite and his dream was granted. Gauss spoke to him directly many times during the run "Bagellord your horrible", "I have never seen someone so retarded","Did you really jump off the boat after I said not to?", "Yes this is Stormwind you idiot, look to your left to see the Welcome to Stormwind sign", "If you have to ask how to turn down your settings Bagellord you are obviously retarded", "Where is Ashenvale? You are that special kind of stupid aren't you Bagellord" those were just some of the thigns Gauss said to him. He was happy Gauss thought so highly of him. Bagellord knew Gauss would had a special place for him, hell he even noticed Gauss would always compare people to him. Bagellord thought he finally di have a real friend.
And that is the end of the story for now of one of the Biggest idiots I have ever met in my WoW existence. Who knows if this guy can do anything else to amaze me, I wouldn't count it out yet