Friday, September 25, 2009

Companion Pets and What They Say

Some people have been asking me to do this one for a couple weeks so I finally finished and decided to throw it up. Enjoy another Gaussie rant

Cat: So let's get his straight you are playing a game with over 100+ pets you could get and is also a game centred around fantasy and yet you pick a cat. Is your name Bagellord or are you just and idiot?

Magical Crawdad: You spent hours upon hours fishing this dam thing and everyone knows this yet when you are having an epeen contest this is the first one your bring out. Am I the only one who sees a problem here? Wait..I understand its not time wasted if you have nothing else you could possibly do. Grats at failing real life...I mean on the crawdad.

Willy: Face it you are using this pet so you can feed it biscuits so you can tell everyone "My willy is so big". That is not only not funny, but I am sure it proves the opposite is the actual truth.

Champion Seal Pets: So you wasted days and days doing dailies and bought something that serves no purpose but to stand beside you and look pretty. On the fail meter you rank pretty high here, and showing that you have more than one isn't doing you any favours...

Wolpertinger: Your using this pet because it makes you feel better because the dam thing is so ugly. You wouldn't feel better if you looked in the mirror once in awhile.

Egbert: Hello king of ADD. Your using this pet because it attracts attention by people asking you "does he always run off like that" or "is he going to pull the boss?" As always this doesn't mean you have friends this means your pathetic.

Battle Bot: So when you go into a store and say "OMG a need the Mountain Dew that gives me the pet in WoW" the people that started laughing are not laughing with you they are laughing at you. And yes that means your mom lied to you.

Sporebat: So not only did you farm a useless rep, but you went around collecting useless mushrooms to pay for the dam thing. That is like double fail. Your mother should apologize to the world for giving birth to you.

Mechanical Chicken: You are the kind of person that buys a blowup doll aren't you?

Blizzard Bear: This screams perfect for you if you have the Jenkins and Champion of the Frozen wastes title. People won't laugh at you they will just nod at the understanding that you are utterly horrible.

Collector's Edition Pets: You are admitting that you are not only addicted to this game, but that you paid $40 more just so you could get a pet in game. Do I need to add anything else?

Spirit of Competition: You get this pet just for participating. Your like that kid at the track meet that is so far behind everyone its embarrassing because the people are lined up for the next race waiting for them to finish. This pet should really renamed Spirit of Failure.

Argent Gruntling: So you think Child Labour is ok? WTF is wrong with you. Get your own crap you lazy bastard.


  1. hey, sometimes I don't buy reagents before raid and that little bast...errr guy is nice enough to help me out.

    at least you can't put them on leashes anymore.

  2. Egbert is awesome. that is all

  3. Willy was funny i'll admit

  4. I can see people doing the Battle Bot thing

  5. Why does Gauss always ruin things I use?

  6. @ the guy above me, because you fail.