Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Return of Onyxia

So today is the day that we are given back on of the favourite raids of WoW. Now not everyone reading this was able to raid Onyxia in her prime and experience it in its true form. Now U assume everyone knows why this raid was made eternal if you don't I can only assume you have been living in a cave that somehow has access only to WoW. They say this is going to be puggable so I thought I would go over what you can expect to happen in an Onyxia pug

Leader: Odd groups got left, even groups got right. Group 5 is the whelp group

Random Idiot: Whats a whelp? And what group am I in?

Leader: DPS from the sides and don't get tail swiped.
following this statement some random moron decides to switch sides running through the tail and flys into the whelp cave. Wipe ensues. Follow by "many whelps" jokes.

When she takes off people fail at staying spread out and fireballs hit 5-8 people at once. Also this same idiots continue to stand in the fire like a bunch of morons and their only response is "I thought it buffed you"

Leader: Deep Breath incoming get to the sides
Every moron then proceeds to keyboard turn towards the sides and doesn't make it there in time and gets owned by the breath. Wipe ensues followed by More Dots and Sotp Dots jokes

Some idiot mage suggests that it would be easier to run through the whelp cave and kill them all before they spawn. Before waiting for the ok he already doing it. Wipe ensues and again with the many whelps jokes, along with the 50dkp minus

She Lands... and the tank being an idiot gets knock back into the whelp cave. Wipe ensues followed by run to the centre jokes, many whelps jokes and of course 50dkp minus jokes

When she lands like 3 warlocks instantly die for failing to stop dots and complain the tanks aggro sucks. Wipe ensues with stop dots jokes following it.

People fail to get back to the phase 1 positions and are feared into the whelp cave. Wipe ensues followed by 50DKP minus, MANY WHELPS LEFT SIDE EVEN SIDE, step away from the head Lee, and north corner jokes.

Some random idea gets feared into a tail swipe gets sent into the whelp cave. Wipe ensues followed by the 50dkp, many whelps, and north corner jokes.

Some pulls aggro she breaths on half the raid. Wipe ensues followed by 50DKP minus and "Your going to DPS very very slowly" jokes.

Someone pulls aggro and half the raid instead of getting breathed on gets tail swiped and sent into the whelp cave. Wipe ensues followed by 50dps minus, many whelps, and slow dps jokes.

So after like 21 pulls and 43 different people in the raid you finally killed the dam dragon.

Enjoy your Onyxia runs and since this is obviously a revamped and update Onyxia for level 80 I would also think the 50dkp minus fee should be raised as well.

I couldn't resist doing a post about this even if its dumb so screw all the haters!


  1. ROFL that all happened

  2. MANY WHELPS HANDLE IT!!!!!!!!!!


  4. Anyone killed her yet?

  5. Do you live in a cave she is a joke