Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Thoughts on Classes

Death Knight: You are obviously lazy since your toon starts at level 55. You obviously think you are better than anyone else or should be because you are a “hero” class. You feel leveling professions is for losers or at least say so because you are too lazy to level your own. Anytime you die it must have been because of lag because how could someone from so awesome a class actually die? 90% of Death Knights are horrible players and of that 90% 100% of them think they are not part of the 90%. So I will be the first one to inform you that you are indeed horrible and you fail.

Druid: If your a healing druid you are this way because either your guild makes you heal and you hate it or you have ADD and like to heal and since druids don't stand still this makes it much easier for you. If you are a tanking druid rogues hate you, and so do all other tanks because you steal their gear and don't use it nearly as well as they do. Face it you will never be as good as a rogue, and you can't can't block so you fail. Only reason you would be in the raid is for you 5% crit buff, but honestly your useless. If you are a boomkin face it you are a giant chicken or some owl on drugs. You also press 2 buttons and think you are awesome for it. You try to kept people entertained by dancing like an idiot. Let me let you in on a secret they are not laughing at your dancing they are laughing at your dps and how you think its good.

Hunter: So you are a hunter. You have a pet which you have no clue how to manage it breaks CC all the time and you blame it on the tank. You are cheap which is why you love feign death and how it saves you repair cost. You complain about having to buy bullets when you don't have to pay for repairs and often times you run out of ammo like a moron. You are afk for 20% of pulls so you don't have to change your Misdirect macro and when you do use it its on the wrong tank because you missed the dam instructions while you were afk.

Mage: Your a mage. You go through keyboards once a month because you press 1-2 buttons during raids. You refuse to focus magic anyone who doesn't focus you in return. Face it you suck and your not getting it. You somehow believe your class is hard to believe when it is obviously the easiest. You fail at using your Iceblock at the right time and use the excuse it was on cooldown when it obviously wasn't. Lets be clear here if you suck at playing a mage, which you probably do its best you either reroll another more difficult toon because this way you actually have an excuse for sucking or just realize you fail at wow and quit.

Paladin: Face it you rolled a pally so you could bubble. If your ret you were born to complain and you do it all the time. You feel pallys should be the best at everything because you have a bubble. The fact is if your a ret pally your a dumbass who should have rolled another class, because even if your good at it you will still always be a ret pally and no one will ever get beyond that idea. If your Holy you think you are awesome because you top the healing meters like a mad man. Maybe once in awhile you should check the overheal meter. If the tank dies its your fault and honestly he plans you and wants to send you his repair bill. If your a tank lets just say no other tank respects you. When you can tank by going afk and thinking you are that awesome face it you fail. If you try to argue that pally tanking isn't easy your a moron and honestly no one will ever listen to you again. If your a blood elf... well that's a whole nother topic

Priest: If your a healer you are either pissed off that you are raid healing or you are mad at how it is so easy for pallys and druids to heal. You constantly complain how you are a much better healer than these other classes because it takes much more skill to play a priest. You always threaten to reroll these class just to prove the point, but never go through with it. The truth is you may actually just suck. If your shadow you feel you don't get enough respect for what you do. You again complain how all these other dps classes have burst damage and you don't. The truth is you wished you rolled a warlock because you always get asked to heal when you want to dps. Just face it you will be nothing more than a second rate dpser.

Rogue: You blame everyone but yourself when you don't top the damage meters. Druids, Dks, and Warriors stealing your gear always drives you nuts. You feel other classes should do the interupts when you obviously have nothing better to do. Face it 95% of rogues are crybabies on the same level as ret pallys, and for God sakes don't fan of knives on a single target you morons.

Shaman: If your healing you complain that you never get to tank heal even if you have the most overpowered heal in the game, you deserve your shot to tank heal. If you wanted to tank heal roll a dam pally you idiot. If your enhance you blame blizzard for no having enough HP since you seem to always have less than clothies. You feel you have to compete with too many classes for the same gear and even if you do have a point no one actually cares so you can shutup about it. If your Elemental you pissed at how you always have to wear cloth, and then have casters bitch at you when you take their gear. Face it your a shaman and the only reason your in the raid is to Bloodlust.

Warlock: If you played a lock when they were godly overpowered you always talk about the glory days when you could own anything. You feel these times should come back already. Warlocks always seem to have nervous break downs or emo moments. They take the slightlest things too seriously like you slept with their wife and murdered their mother, but all you did was not give them a specific buff. You rolled a lock live with the fact that you have soulshards, also wit hthe fact you have to summon people and put down healthstones. No one wants to know your life story and about that time in Naxx when no one would help you click.

Warrior:If your a tank you are either horrible and by horrible I mean you can't hold aggro off a level 2 critter or you are good and think your great. These type think they should get summoned everywhere have the groups made around what they want to do in truth they believe they have somehow been crowned king overnight. Face it your not god. If your Arms you probably have no clue how to play. You use bladestorm before the tank gets aggro and die and then complain about how you wear plate and how high your repair bills are. You also fail to DPS and no matter how many times people explain it to you , you somehow fail to understand. Maybe its turn warriors are retarded. If your fury you are only this because you think Titan's Grip is awesome. The whole YOU GET TO USE TWO TWO HANDERS thing just ringed you in. Face it though Fury warriors are the kings of fail you will be looking for a village that needs their idiot.


Races will be soon to come!

15 comments:

  1. you just made fun of everyone? What class do you even play?

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  2. he plays a warrior one of the best I have ever seen

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  3. And looking foward to race thoughts! Might I ask if you could include your thoughts on race changes to get away from your oh so hated Belf?

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  4. I don't see whats wrong with Blood elves

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  5. he is a warrior and I think he made fun of them the most

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  6. Ya, he's a warrior. GM of a slightly progressed guild.

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  7. They are the top horde guild on the server no?

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  8. He is the best warrior there is plain and simple

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  9. He is right I fail at tank healing

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  10. And yes. Three Score, which Gauss is the GM of is a highly recognized and respected progression guild on our server. Downing more raid bosses than most. They are currently 4th horde side and 8th overall for Llane.

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  11. I am pretty sure they are #2 especially since BT is gone

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  12. ^ Very likely.
    And may BT R.I.P.
    :(

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  13. I am a pally but I heal. I went to Naxx with you once it was great

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